Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in marijke_joosten's LiveJournal:

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Sunday, July 19th, 2009
8:51 am	Once again it's been a long time since I've written my blog. I'm not even going to mention about how I'm gonna revive this blog because honestly I don't see it happen any time soon. I'll just write whenever my schedule allows it and remember to do so. Load of things happened, but I think the most important one is that I got a job-offer that I accepted. This means I'm now part of that stable, career-loving, moneymaking segment of the population! It scares me a little bit and takes some adjustments from my part to actually live the part, but so far so good. They can always fire me, right? In the meantime I'm doing the best I can. To challenge myself in more ways than the above mentioned, I signed up for yet another half marathon. I think I can do better than the two and a half hours it took me in march, so I'm gonna try again on the 11th of october in Eindhoven.  Practice isn't going real well due to heat and lack of time, but there's hope and what more do I need? I ran 12km yesterday which is the farthest I've come since that half marathon in March, so if I keep it up from here, I still have plenty of time to get in the right shape. My sister's pregnant again!!! I'm glad. I didn't at all expect that I'd enjoy being an aunt so much. It is something I was instantly good at and my little niece is just so adorable and smart. And we connect so well. I can't wait to have another niece of nephew because what's better than a good thing? Two of a good thing!!! Since I turned 34 this year I miraculously detected a desire to have children of my own. So I'm currently in the process of making this dream come true. This is not an easy task since I'm not in a relationship. I'm currently corresponding with an eligable someone who's certainly open to the idea. The future will determine what will come of it though. Patience is a virtue. Lately I've rediscovered the joys of vinyl records and the luxury of ordering through the internet. Records are a lot cheaper in the States, even when I have to pay taxes and import costs, they're still cheaper than buying them in a recordstore in Holland, so that's what I've been spending my money on lately. My recent purchases are: * Justin Townes Earle: Midnight at the movies * Steve Earle: Townes * Dan Auerbach: Keep it hid * Bonnie 'Prince' Billy: Lie down in the light * Buddy & Julie Miller: Written in Chalk * Naomi Shelton & the Gospel Queens: What have you done, my brother? The list goes on and on. Since I have a steady job, and income,  I turned into an insatiable consumer of music. And so what? Books I am reading are: * Mary Servaes: Mijn leven * Max Barry: Company * Mark Oliver Everett: Things the grandchildren should know * John Boyne: The boy in the striped pajama * Elaine N. Aron: High Sensitive Persons You know what? I'm pretty happy. I have peace of mind, I feel content and it's been like that for awhile now. I hope it sticks. * (Comment on this)
Saturday, April 25th, 2009
12:16 am	April 25th already. This whole month passed by in a haze of snot and fever..... What I wouldn't give to be able to just breathe. I haven't been running at all, although I tried some times. My stamina isn't what it was a month and a half ago. It's unimaginable how fast something like that deteriorates, because it takes so long to build it up. It feels like I have to start all over again. It'll be a challenge and it'll give me something to do. I've been reading a lot lately and there's two books in particular that have inspired to the insight of me wasting too much precious time doing nothing of substance. I'm just not doing anything and that displeases me a great deal. The one book is called: 'Het waanzinnige van sneeuws' by Alex Boogers (a Dutch author -from my hometown actually- I don't know if he's available in English) and 'Good to be God' by Tibor Fischer. Anyways, it inspires me to go out and do something other than wasting time. Doesn't matter what really, as long as it differs from vegging out in front of the tv or drinking in bars. (Comment on this)
Sunday, March 29th, 2009
11:38 am	Yesterday my beautiful, talented, muscle-boy Floyd turned 3!!! He's such a joy and every day I get to spend with him is a blessing. I wouldn't be where I am now if it hadn't been for him.  His presence forced me to get out of bed when I was at my all-time low. He needed care, nurturing, love and exercise and was the sole responsible caretaker. I wasn't always pleased about, but looking back, this fact actually may have saved me. Okay, maybe I'm being overly dramatic, but you get the point and that is: I love him dearly. I have come a long way the past year or two. I worked really  hard and I got rewarded for it. The job that I wanted, an education, I wanted my family-ties restored, the peace of mind, the physical challenge, discipline and determintion.  I truly am blessed and stronger than I was before. (Comment on this)
Thursday, March 19th, 2009
10:21 am	The half marathon? I made it. It was even more difficult than I thought it would be, but I did it!!!! I'm so proud. I have to do again though because even though I'm proud, I'm not satisfied with my performance. It took me a whole 2 hours and 26 minutes to get to that finish line and I think I can do better than that. And so I will. I'm aiming for the half marathon of Eindhoven at the end of the year. Somewhere in october's what I hear. Furthermore I'm at my new workplace.  The people there are nice, but it's hard starting over again. Having to ask where everything is, what the rules are, how things are done, getting to know everyone. Just finding your place basically. I'll be fine I'm sure, but it'll take time and I'm slightly impatient I guess. Here's a picture of the scarf I'm crocheting. (Comment on this)
Sunday, March 8th, 2009
2:03 pm	I'm now one week away from running the half marathon and as far as I can see I come as prepared as possible, taking into account that I ran my first 10 k in january this year. I have come a long way. I may not set an impressive time, but I have good faith I'm coming in on time, which is a maximum of 2 hrs and 30 minutes or less. Last sunday I ran 19k in 1:54:23. Tuesday my , pretty, lovely, little niece is having her first birthday. I bought her this: I took the day off to celebrate it in style. Friday is my last day at work on my current location. I'm being transferred to another location where I will be working with a group of kids between the ages of 4 and 7. I'm both sad and excited about it. I hate to say goodbye to everyone at my current workplace yet at the same time I'm looking forward to the new experience. I expect it to be loads different from the group I'm working on now. Crochet is going great. I've made a lot of progress and I will be posting a picture of my work soon. Tomorrow at school I'm starting a new project: embroidery. I want to embroider the skull on the car of deathproof but I have to make the pattern first. That shouldn't be too hard. I've been reading a lot lately. * De  joodse messias - Arnon Grunberg * Onze Oom - Arnon Grunberg * Snuff - Chuck Palahniuk * Lijn 56 - Alex Boogers * Lambs of God  - Marele Day I have a good stack of books lined up as well: * Helemaal alleen - D. Meston * Good to be God - Tibor Fischer * Het waanzinnige van sneeuw - Alex Boogers Went to the movies yesterday. Saw: Watchmen. I'm not sure what to think of it. Definitely not great. Besides Meike's birthday I'm really gonna lay low this week and mentally prepare for saturday's achievement. I'm gonna watch 'The Curious case of Benjamin Button', read, do some embroidery and crochet and eat loads and loads of pasta and that's that.   (Comment on this)
Saturday, February 14th, 2009
5:52 pm	I have finally gotten my test results back and both of 'em were practically flawless.  Methodical Skills: 9,7 Social Skills: 9,1 Out of 10, which is impressive in my book.  I am pleased and proud. The first obstacle towards graduation is out of the way. Monday I'm getting my reportcard. I'm not worried at all, although it's not as good as the first  one.  It's still very good and I'm pretty much on schedule with all my work. The 17 km running practice of last weekend was hard and certainly not effortless, but I made it. At around 15 km it started getting really, really difficult, but I managed to just keep going on willpower alone. Tomorrow I might try for 19, depending on the weather. I feel a tiredness in my bones and honestly, I'll be glad when that half marathon is over and I can get back to normal running.  This kind of intense training is just a little bit too demanding for me. (Comment on this)
Saturday, February 7th, 2009
12:22 pm	The plan for today is to run 17 km. If I'm capable of doing that, it gives me hope for the 21 km on march 14th. I'm a little nervous about it, although I have plenty of time to try again before the moment supreme. The weather is beautiful so that's a good sign. I'm currently reading the funniest book ever. "Animals of the ocean, in particular the giant squid".  It's practically out of stock everywhere, I know, because I'm trying to lay my hands on the rest of the series (Giraffe? Giraffe!, Your disgusting head, and Cold Fusion) without paying an insane amount of money for it. Hmmm. Anyone with a suggestion leave a comment. No results back from my exams yet. Patience is the key word. It's my birthday in less than two weeks. Turning 34. I found a new hobby. Crochet! I bought some fabulous yarn the other day and if I'm not reading or running, working or at school, that's probably what you find me doing while listening music of course. Music of choice at the moment: The bird and the Bee: Ray guns are not just the future De Staat: Wait for evolution Inare George & Van Dyke Parks: An invitation Nicholas Payton: Into the blue Roosbeef: Ze willen wel je hond aaien, maar niet met je praten (Comment on this)
Saturday, January 17th, 2009
11:04 am	I got off to a good start this year. The office called me to acknowledge the fact that they made a mistake calculating my travel expenses from september up 'till now and they will pay what they owe me asap. Yes!!  Maybe the amount of money I'll receive will be enough for a box or two of The Wire.  I sure hope so. Furthermore, I signed myself up for the half marathon in The Hague in March. I'm not nearly prepared enough, but I'm ready for a challenge.  I'm not even close to being prepared enough for this distance, but it's a good opportunity to find out where exactly it is I stand in the running department. I'm gonna give it my best shot. That's for sure. School and work are both going fine. I have to take two exams next week which I'll hopefully pass. I have good faith so I already rewarded myself for passing with tickets to Wende Snijders on the 29th of this month. I also went to the movies last week. I can't even remember how long it's been since I've seen a movie theater from the inside.  It sure has gotten helluvalot expensive. €9.10 for a ticket. Crazy! I saw Woody Allen's "Vicky Christina Barcelona" together with Esther and Sylvia. Cute movie, good company. (Comment on this)
Friday, January 2nd, 2009
4:19 pm	I think it's time to revive my blog. It's been a long time and I've thought hard and long about whether or not I should continue spilling the beans, and I have come to the conclusion that yes I should. Why not? If anything it helps me get my thoughts together and that's worth something. I'm still in school. I'm doing well although I am struggling with motivational issues. For some reason it's hard for me to focus and bring certain things to a good end. Education for instance. It's not that I don't have the brains. Something else gets in the way. I can't put finger on it. I have issues with authority and that certainly gets in the way sometimes. The last few months I have been very negative about everything and that hasn't really helped me enjoy life much. I hope that, because a new year has started, I can draw a line and start over with a new perspective on things. I want to. Maybe I shoud read some Eckhart Tolle and brainwash myself into positive thinking. It's all a matter of brainwashing anyways so why don't I just make things easier on myself. My mother has been particularly great in supporting just about anything I do. I'm still running. Doing well in that department. My mom bought me a new thermalshirt, a neonvest for me and Floyd for when we run in the dark, and seamless socks. She gave me cold hard cash to blow on whatever I want, she gave me the new Arnon Grunberg to read, and continuous moral support. I don't think I could have made it this far without her. Even though I was sure to have my mother and certain people, I have never felt so alone and deserted as I have last year. I need to lick my wounds and nurse myself back to health. I'm not sure if I'm done healing, but at some point you just need to get over yourself and move on. The past year was all about going inside and figuring things out for myself. I had to figure out who I really was, what my goals are, how to get there, and what I want to spend my energy on. What's important to me. The coming year will be about going outside. Connecting with other people. Sharing. Hoping. Trusting. Joy. Innocence. I will be writing about my experiences here. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, September 13th, 2008
10:41 am	You know what? Against all odds I'm doing particularly well. School's not great but definitely manageable, and work looks like summercamp so far. I start at 11:00 and finish at 18:00 and that's just awesome. That way I have plenty of time for Floyd in the morning, no trafficjams and enough time in the evening for my social-life of whatever. I treated myself to an Ipod Nano in combination with a Nike sensor to document my running progress. If I want to run that marathon I have to make some serious progress. It did take me awhile to figure the thing out but now that I have I am so happy with it. I'm a lucky bastard. Current Music: Dean Tippet (Comment on this)
Friday, September 5th, 2008
1:34 pm	This is my last weekend as a free woman! From monday on I'll be a careerperson, working 24 hours a week while pursuing an education and a demanding exercise schedule that will lead to the Rotterdam marathon in april next year. I have requested the help of my yoga teacher who developed a lesson with exercises that will support this particular goal. Since my hip is still bothering me I need to focus on strengthening the muscles and tendons in that area. I am currently running 15 minutes every other day. And that's almost pain-free so that's a step in the right direction. I'm glad to be talking to my therapist today. I'm not well. It's probably nerves for school and work and she has a way of calming me down. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, September 2nd, 2008
11:03 am	Sign o 'the times Yesterday when I got home from walking Floyd, a group of kids gathered round my front door, challenging each other who dared to go nearest to Floyd. I let them for a minute or two before we went inside and when I told the kids goodbye I heard one yell as he raced away: "Last one to reach my front door is a junkie". In my days we raced each other, sure enough, but I think being 'stupid' or 'crazy' was our biggest threat. (Comment on this)
Thursday, August 28th, 2008
12:58 pm	I'm incredibly sad to have learned that Natasha Shneider has passed away. More-so than her songwriting, I was touched, by her unique voice that seemed to go straight to your soul. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 12th, 2008
10:48 am	Today I went running for the first time in about three months. When I went to the doctor the other day he figured I might be suffering from hip tendonitis. His advice was to keep on running (I quit due to intolerable pain in my right hip) in order to provoke the pain, after which a thorough stretch of that particular area is required. So that is what I did today and I can tell from experience that it hurts like a motherfucker. I only ran 15 minutes after which I did some stretching and then another ten after which I, again, did some, extremely painful, stretching. It feels unnatural to torture your own body like that but I'm committed to tackle this problem once and for all and do whatever it takes. If that means enduring pain, then that's what I'm gonna do. Yesterday Lotte and Brenda came over to watch Absolut Warhola with me. It's one of my favorite documentaries ever, yet until yesterday I have never found anyone wanting to watch it with me. Of course they loved it, espcecially the part where the curator of the Andy Warhol Museum of Modern Art in Medzilaborce explains, that the buckets spread out on the floor of the main hall, are there to collect water from their leaking roof and if someone, anyone, interested in supporting the museum wants to donate some money they can do so at the following account with such and such number. He muses on why someone on welfare thinks 10 Slovak Koruna is too much for a visit to the museum but easily spends 200 in a bar across the street when, in fact, the meditative value of the Warhol museum is lots bigger. According to the curator it is not unlikely to experience catharsis!!!! And all this for only 10 Koruna!!! Zomerterras is going great. I'm working fridays, saturdays and sundays which will hopefully result in making enough money to both pay for my tuition and my books the following schoolyear. As a bonus I'm also enjoying the time spent with Sander. According to himself he's suffering from major quarterlife crisis which promises for a lot of good laughs the coming few weeks. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 6th, 2008
10:34 am	Time flies when you're having fun! In about a month I'll be starting my new career as a children's caretaker. I'm both anxious and excited about it. I received my certificate of good conduct in the mail the other day, so that obstacle is out of the way. Now it's just a matter of me keeping my focus and nailing this thing. The coming month I'll be working at the Zomerterras which is usually a lot of fun. It's definitely more fun than working at Camping Rotterdam which was nothing less than disastrous. Yesterday I had an appointment with my physician. There's something bothering me concerning my joints and I want to know what it is. On top of that I have a ganglion cyst on the inside of the hand where the middle finger meets my hand. My doctor advised against having it surgically removed because chances are it'll come back before you can even blink an eye. He said to wear a bikerglove, cutting a hole where the cyst is at, to reduce pressure and just wait 'till it disappears naturally. Hmmm. That could take 6 months! Furthermore they're gonna search my blood for signs of arthritis and ,Lyme disease. So everybody pray with me I'm not suffering from any of those nasty diseases. Tomorrow my mom and I are going to visit my favorite aunt in Zwolle. It's been a long time since I'd gone to visit them. I think my dad may still have been alive when I was there last and he's been dead for two years now. Time really does fly, doesn't it? When my father passed away I didn't have a clue my life would take the shape it has taken now. I'm glad though and wouldn't want it any other way. Current Music: She & Him - Volume 1 (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, July 12th, 2008
4:12 pm	There's not a lot going on in my life right now, but I thought I'd drop a line anyhow. I'm very social at the moment. I'm reviving old friendships and meeting new people and I'm enjoying it very much. With a bunch of new insights under my belt I'm trying a different approach with people and thusfar it's paying off well. I signed my contract last week so once I receive and hand-over a certificate of good conduct to my new employer, everything will be official. I applied for it yesterday and it takes two to four weeks for it to be returned. Floyd's gotten his annual shot this week. He gained a little weight, but the vet said he is still in perfect shape and health. Phew. I was ready to put him on a diet, but I guess he's in luck. I will still be rationing his meat-consumption though. I've been spoiling him too much. I spend the last two days nursing Brenda back to health, at which I surprisingly succeeded. The three V's also known as: Vegetable soup, Vegging out with dvd's and Yahtzee and VapoRub plus of course my undivided love and attention have done the trick. I'm going to a birhtday party tonight of a girl I hardly know. I really have changed, haven't I? (Comment on this)
Friday, July 4th, 2008
12:52 pm	It did take quite the effort, but I am currently getting quite the hang of 'doing nothing'. I'm not really doing 'nothing', I'm just taking things very slow. I'm learning to self-motivate and spend my time in a meaningful way without external pressure. I started a little vegetable garden my balcony where I grow tomatoes, white peppers, red bellpeppers and red and yellow surinam peppers. I'm hoping to expand to herbs soon. Cilantro and basil are on my wishlist and I hope to grow a pumpkin if I can lay my hands on one. It's so fullfilling to harvest. This week I made a beautiful gazpacho with my own home-grown tomatoes. I can't describe how incredibly rewarding this is, but take my word for it. Everything just tastes better if you grow it yourself with TLC. I am also learning to juggle, thanks to the instructional videos of my new best friend Steve. My goals is to learn to cascade with four before I start my new job mid-september. It'll take some dedication I'm sure, but dedication is a useful trait of which I can use some more for succesful living. Like Guru Steve says:"f you are a non-juggler, i suggest that you learn to juggle immediately because it is the coolest thing since sliced bread." Amen. The other day, when I was taking a competence-test at my new school, the results weren't really to my liking. I scored above average on intelligence yet below average on motivation. I don't think these results really do me justice, because I perceive myself differently, but it's definitely something that deserves my attention. Current Music: Jakob Dylan - Seeing Things (Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 18th, 2008
8:19 pm	Today I attempted to bake a vegan chocolate cake. I found a recipe on the net that looked easy enough. Since it's my first time baking from scratch and baking vegan I set the bar really low for myself. I reached my goal by the fact that I was baking at all. The first undertaking was grocery shopping. I needed soy milk, sunflower oil, Dutch cocoa and last , but not least I needed to find out what agar-agar was. When I bought everything I needed I had to convert the recipe to metric measurements. Before long I was ready to start. I put on my lucky apron, pre-heated the oven and followed the recipy that would lead to instant succesful living and an unforgettable impression on my friends!!!! I'm not far into the recipy when I realise that something must've gone wrong. The substance in my bowl is not a delicate batter, it looks more like dough. Nothing you would associate with a tender, moist cake. Because I'm overwhelmed with enthusiasm I decide to alter the recipe on instinct alone. The top of my culinary creativity is reached by keeping adding soy milk until I think the dough has reached the right level of viscosity. Then I mix it some more and put it in the baking pan. As I'm feeling extremely adventurous and have just recently watched Jamie Oliver bake a non-vegan variety of the sorts, I add some pieces of Swiss chocolate for a surprise-effect. Who says love can't be bought? This cake should definitely do the trick! Ha! Just 40 minutes in the oven and my prize-winning cake will be done. I can't wait. After 20 minutes in the oven I smell something odd. Not quite burned but certainly on its way to getting there.  I look at the clock and see there are another 20 minutes of baking time left. What to do? I decide to get a knife from my drawer and stick in the cake to see it if comes out clean. Perhaps with the recipes alteration, the baking time has changed? I am no rocket-scientist but I do know that one thing leads to another....... In that case I call it: the superfast-supertasty- swiss-chocolaty-surprise-magical-I-can- get-any-date-I-want-by-baking-a-cake-in-just-20-minutes-fossilfuel-saving-delicious-tasting-and- awesome-looking-why-hasn't-anyone-thought-of-this-before-vegan-chocolate-cake. Obviously the knife does not come  out clean. Didn't I just mention putting pieces of  swiss chocolate in there? Those have melted and are now sticking to the knife. Since life is all about decision-making I  decide the cake's baking time is done. Which is the right decision because I notice, after taking it out, it has slightly turned black on the sides. This definitely doesn't look like the cake I intended to make. One half of the cake is as hard as a rock and can easily be used in construction while the other half can be used as a hot adhesive.  Fortunately no animals were harmed in the making of this cake. Next week I'm gonna try a new recipe. Current Music: The Ditty Bops (Comment on this)
Friday, June 13th, 2008
10:30 am	My God.... since I quit my job I'm busier than ever! The catering gig I promised Caro to help with, is certainly more demanding than I expected it to be. I can use the money though. My annual car check-up cost me a whole lot this year. I'm glad to be driving though, despite what The Ditty Bops may think of it. I visited a client by public transport yesterday and it was horrible. I didn't have a busticket ready so I had to purchase one. There was no ticket booth however so I had to use one of the machines. Finding out how to get the right ticket was challenging enough and slightly time-consuming and in the mean time I missed my ride. Damn. Of course I had no coins on me, so I had to dig deep in my wallet to look for my stupid chipcard. Fortunately it was charged, which is completely out of character for me, because I hate using that card. I don't even want to get into why I'm against the chipknip so much because I'm already ranting about public transport, and there's a time and a place for everything. Anyways, it took my a mighty long time to get from A to B, that's for sure. It's expensive, it was raining and all-in-all I just love my car. (Comment on this)
Monday, June 2nd, 2008
9:25 am	This is my first day off from when I kinda, sorta quit working at Thuiszorg. I didn't really quit because I still kept two clients until september but that's only for 10 hours a week tops, and both of 'em are real nice. Not an obligation at all. I do have several other things lined up in order to make some money but overall I'll be living off of my daddy stocks the coming three months. I don't think he'd mind, knowing that I have a steady job and an education to go with it starting september. I'm doing 6 day catering gig with Caro at theater De Appel in The Hague, two days of bartending at the Loggerfestival in Vlaardingen, possibly the Zomerterras again..... and any other odd job that I can lay my hands on. I don't think I'll get bored. Tomorrow I'm renewing my membershipcard for the zoo at which I hope to spending a great deal of my time this summer, thursday my mom and I are biking to the Delft market. We usedto do this regularly when I was a child but haven't in ages. Keep yer fingers crossed for the weather to be nice because we're not biking with rain. At least, I'm not. Our plan B is Museum Corpus No reason to get bored this summer, that's for sure. Current Music: Justin Townes Earle - The good life (Comment on this)